My Journey Through Cancer - Behind the Mask 6 (final weekly update)

I'm angry, not at God, myself, nor the world, but at CANCER. A few days ago I could feel hatred swell in my core rapidly seep into every crevice of my being. Cancer has taken the lives of my grandfather, two of my uncles, and some of my cousins. It has reared its disgusting head in the lives of family members who've had to spend the time and energy fighting it. However, I am grateful for my new outlook on life. I'm angry at the pain and the precious time lost during this fight against cancer.

In my prior post, I omitted that I dry heaved for a week. I couldn't hold anything down, not even water. Everything water attempted to travel down my esophagus, but found its way back up. Any offensive smells caused me to gag. This lead to a loss of 4 lbs and a discussion of running a feeding tube down my nose. My body needed nutrition and I could feel it. I was so sick from dry heaving that I wanted the tube right then. But, the doctor said they had a pill to help with that. A pill, Metoclopramide, that causes another undesired side effect. Desperate for relief I'll take it.

So, let us see. I'm taking Metoclopramide for nausea (dry heaving/gagging), Nystatin oral and Fluconazole for thrush, Lidocaine for the pain inside of my mouth, using Xeroform Petrolatum dressing and Aquaphor for the itching and burning around my neck, and we can't leave out old faithful Hydrocodone. The old Hydro's side effects includes constipation so let's add MiraLax to the list. My mind travels back to my grandfather Cleofus' house in the 80s. During his fight with cancer I recall at least 2 washbasins full of medicine. Oh, how cancer treatment has evolved. But, it leaves me mad as hell at cancer.

Behind the Mask: My Journey through Cancer was written to inform and encourage someone going through or someone about to go through this fight with cancer or any adversity. It's a tedious and sometimes lonely road but we'll get through it. Through the tears and pain we fight. And at the end we stand! This will pass. God has promised that.

This is the last Behind the Mask: My Journey through Cancer blog. There will be an update on my progress in 3 weeks. However, the blog will not be silent. Behind the Mask: PTSD begins tomorrow, Tuesday, September 27, 2016. 


**Alert for head or throat cancer patients**If possible replace any metal fillings with composite/porcelain fillings before starting radiation, this will help minimize mouth sores. If not possible try wearing your mouth trays during treatment. The rays from the radiation bounces off the metal fillings causing more sores. Consult with your radiation oncologist.



September 27, 2016 @05:35 pm
You are Strength! !!!! Darci
September 26, 2016 @05:21 pm
Hey Toni Keep fighting girl! You are a brave & beautiful soul! Thank you for sharing your journey. You are in my prayers! Many blessing my sister. Erica Walker-Chenevert
September 26, 2016 @05:01 pm
Toni, your pain and journey is helping others. I am so sorry you are having to go through it but with your blog you are helping so many! Prayers for you sweet friend! Wendi Gibbs

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